Brussel Sprout

This dog will be at the Palo Alto Pet Food Express on Saturday, February 7th from 12-3pm unless adopted prior to the event. To be considered for adoption, pls submit an application in advance.
Adoption fee: $600
Thank you so much AnneMarie D. for sponsoring Brussel Sprout.Meet Brussel Sprout, a 17 lb, 7 year old tyrant disguised as a dog. Do you want to adopt the worst dog ever? The one who has opinions, a schedule, and absolutely no problem informing you when you are doing things incorrectly? Perfect. Please read on.

Brussel Sprout believes mornings should begin promptly at 8:00 a.m. with a short walk, followed immediately by…going back to bed for two more hours. Do not confuse this with laziness. This is intentional rest. After his second wake-up, he requires a quick potty break and then expects breakfast to be served as fast as humanly possible. Any delay will be met with intense staring, barking, circling, sitting upright, and general "how dare you" energy. He does not want treats. He wants a meal. He will make that very clear.

During the day, Brussel Sprout supervises the living room while you are at work. He prefers to potty outside like a gentleman but will tolerate a pee pad if absolutely necessary, though he would like you to know this is beneath him. Once outside, he is not picky about where he goes, so guidance is appreciated. He enjoys an early dinner and will announce when it is time. He does not believe in silent hunger.

At night, Brussel Sprout sleeps in his own very comfy bed next to yours. There is a ramp to the human bed, but he has declined that option and prefers independence, dignity, and personal space. When he wakes up, he may briefly forget where he is, so good lighting is required while he reassesses the situation and confirms that he is, in fact, safe and still in charge. He also puts himself to bed when he is tired. No one tells Brussel Sprout when bedtime is.

Personality-wise, he arrived stressed and deeply disappointed that the household did not immediately understand his routine. He does not like closed doors. He especially does not like when his person is behind a closed door without him. He will vocalize his dissatisfaction with barking, squealing, and general commentary. Showering alone was not an option at first. Progress has been made. He now allows the shower door to be closed, provided the bathroom door remains open and he can perform periodic visual inspections of his person.

He enjoys being petted but does not climb on furniture. He prefers to walk around, sit on something soft, or dramatically sploot on the floor. He has mild interest in toys but stronger feelings about household objects that cannot be trusted, such as a gallon water jug on a low shelf. He softly barks at it every day for reasons unknown. Individual water bottles are fine. The jug is suspicious.

Brussel Sprout walks nicely on leash, does not pull, and could not care less about animals around him. He is indifferent to other pets unless food is involved. Mealtime is a solo activity and should be conducted privately. He eats enthusiastically and will not steal from others, but he would appreciate privacy and respect during dining.

He does bark. But always for a reason. Bathroom doors. Closed doors. New people in the house. Being unable to follow you. Existential concerns. He does not bark randomly. He is communicating. When his person leaves for work, he is given a cookie, eats it politely on his bed, and then waits quietly until the pet sitter arrives hours later. He is dramatic, not destructive.

Brussel Sprout needs a home with routine, patience, and a willingness to learn his very specific language of barks, squeals, and meaningful looks. He was someone's baby once and is very clear that he would like to be that again.
Brussel may have limited hearing, limited sight and for sure has limited teeth. Bonus: He already got a dental. Don't have to worry about that expense. The rescue covered that. Minus side? His tongue now hangs out of his mouth. Maybe that's not a minus side. Maybe the old man has a cute factor now. To each his own. In our book, that sounds like perfect little man.
So, who wants to adopt the grumpiest, bossiest, most demanding little old man who will run your household with a tiny iron paw and absolutely steal your heart in the process? Brussel Sprout is ready to inform you exactly how things should be done.